Mothers-in-law in Africa!!!

Day 4 of our teaching we tackled the subject of Mother-in-Laws.

It seems that the issues in the west are also present in Africa.

We began with a skit showing a typical African scene:
A man comes home from a journey. He is excited to be coming home to see his family again. Before arriving at his house, he is greeted by his mother who lives nearby who takes him into her house to greet him. She gives him Chai, sits him down and asks about his trip.. She notices the gift he has with him (which he purchased for his wife) and assumes it is for herself. She says "What is this?" Oh, thankyou! He doesn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't for her. After this she mentions that he may want to ask his wife how long she took at the market and how much house work she did while he was gone.....

He leaves without the gift for his wife, feeling annoyed at his wife. His wife notices that he has been to his mother's house first and is saddened to see the lovely gift he gave his mother. He enters the house and begins to question her about her chores and what she has done with her time.

This skit is very true to life here in Africa.

We then taught on the scripture: Husbands leave your mother and father and cleave unto your wife...
found 3 times in the bible... OT, Jesus quotes this, and Paul in NT. This makes it important doctrine.

We asked the couples how they could work this scripture out in their culture considering they lived so close to their in laws. See picture above of a typical Tanzanian boma where the extended family live in close proximity. Some of the men said this would not work in Africa.

When we asked them to fix the skit and make it biblical (i.e. putting the wife 1st) one man said he would buy two gifts and then when his mother criticized his wife he would go home and encourage his wife but couldn't say anything to his mother. His culture would not allow him.

We said this didn't really put his wife first publically and even privately she might still feel 2nd. We suggested that there must be some way to stop the mother's criticism without direct confrontation. Another man thought that he would approach his mother and tell her that she didn't really know his wife and how wonderful she was and that he would like to write down a list of her attributes and give the written list to his mother. They all agreed this was a good idea and that this was confronting the issue without cutting across your mother.

Another solution brought forward by an African pastor was that the man in the skit could buy 2 gifts (usually soap) and hide them so that when his mother came to greet him first he could say : "mama, so good to see you, I am going to come and greet you soon but first let me go to my home and greet my family". On arrival at his home, he would tell his wife, I bought 2 gifts, one for you and one for my mother but I would like you to choose the gift you would like first. Then he would give the other gift to his wife to bring to his mother thus strengthening their relationship. All of the Africans liked this example because it was peace making and still put the wife first.

It was a difficult day of wrestling and discussing these biblical truths, so it was all the more precious when there was breakthrough. Many of the wives didn't wish to speak on the subject probably for fear of looking bad, but those who did, said that it was important for their husbands to no longer listen to criticism about them.

Afterwards, as we began to pray, to our surprise a number of the men began to weep loudly. Soon the women joined them. Eventually, one man got up and went to the front of the room where he knelt down still weeping loudly. His wife joined him. Then other men and their wives went to the front and knelt down weeping, It was a loud cacophony of noise and very moving. After a time we began to pray for a new day in their marriages and a new hope and God's cleansing for them. Slowly, they began to sing thru sobs and gulps. It was a sacred moment and one that we will not forget.

Thanks for your prayers.

Training leaders from unreached people-groups...

Judi and I have had the privilege working on several occasions with a mission (Christian Missionary Fellowship) that focuses on unreached people groups in Tanzania. These folk were instrumental in starting the Vineyard in Arusha, where we now serve as team leaders.
We were asked to take a week's teaching on Marriage for their students - prospective church planters.
We had an amazing first day with couples from Barbaig, Nyaturu, Sandawe and Maasai tribes. We compared and contrasted the marriage values each tribe had in light of Scripture, how husbands resembled Christ. As far as we can tell, the Sandawe have a lot to teach us Westerners and fellow Africans (with a few serious negatives).
Below is the limited list they came up with in the alloted time, documented largely in their own words.

BARBAIG
- Peacemakers
- quarreling with neighbours is a sin that is totally unforgivable (I suspect they mean 'unacceptable')
- a sacrifice is offered and the quarreling parties are covered in its blood for reconciliation
- the husbands are the 'guards of peace' for their family

Cultural 'challenges'...
- beatings are common and expected
- one's wife belongs to the whole boma (family cluster of homes)
- polygamy up to 11 wives



SANDAWE
- very loving
- monogamous
- couples walk together, holding hands (very rare)
- helps with household chores & kids

'Challenges'...
- arranged sex outside of marriage if wives are barren
- wife beatings are frequent and may be fatal. Women have no recourse.


NYATURU
- peacemakers
- men are generous and loving
- fights between couples are resolved in the company of tribal elders (if man is guilty, he is fined a goat or cow...)

'Challenges'...
- beatings are commonplace
- polygamous
- no expected heart forgiveness even after "reconciliation" by tribal elders
- never assist wives in any way in the home
- when faced with problems, will desert their families.

MAASAI
- husbands are highly protective of their families
- love their wives
- fathers are head of their families (no one overpowers him)

'Challenges'...
- polygamous
- affairs are commonplace
- women and children treated on same level (low status)
- wife beatings are common and culturally acceptable.

These issues are what these dear men and women face as they return to set up church in their people group. Remember, these folk are from areas where there are no Christian churches of any denomination, and the name of Christ is unknown within a large minimum radius of their location.

Day two with the students and some shocking discoveries re myths, beliefs and practices of these tribes on sex. Among them, up to three years abstinence for fear of affecting a fetus pre-birth and period of breast-feeding because of affecting milk? Any wonder there are issues of infidelity, many cases culturally accepted and arranged by the wives!?
Simply put, truth sets people free - with three pregnant women among the seven couples, along with two breast-feeding mums, the countering truths we taught became a practical reality and good news for all involved!

Day three - general review reveals they are really getting it ... most of it at least!
We covered Gary Chapman's "Five Love Languages", a little challenging given the strong cultural expectations regarding how a man or woman is to demonstrate love in their tribal context.
However, they did identify their personal love language and attempted to identify that of their spouse. A few got it right, but it also brought up a lot of pain, which we were able to talk and pray through.

Tomorrow we take on the huge issue of 'in-laws'. This proved a major challenge last time we taught this ... pray for us!

Do we ... "understand"?

Mat 13:19
When any one hears the word of the Kingdom and does not understand it, the evil comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road. (NAS)

To 'understand' in the Greek, relates to knowing with the 5 senses - that which is tested, experienced, proven first-hand. The word syniemi (understand) literally means, "to bring together" or "to come together" or perhaps, "to put together". When we can "put things together" in our minds or when the words we've heard "come together" in our heads, we understand what the speaker is trying to say; thus its metaphorical meaning of "to understand". A similar metaphor is "I get it!" Somehow a "light" is turned on in our brains and we understand what is being talked about. (B. Stoffregen)

Julius Nyerere, the 'father of Tanzania', was one of Africa's brightest thinkers, and challenged the continent to become responsible for its own destiny. Far from being a fatalist, he understood the role and nature of real education but sadly failed in its implementation. (For more on this brilliant man click here).

The role of story (oral tradition) in indigenous contexts (beautifully exemplified in Jesus' MO), has largely been disposed of through the introduction of Western methods over the past century or more, sacrificed on the altar of rote learning; the accumulation of data without in-formation.
Ironically, Western thinking is now re-embracing the old, through the novel idea of 'on-the-job' training.
Philip Jenkins asserts that the centre of Christendom is shifting from the West to either Africa or South America. I'm thinking that this issue is a major player in that happening. As Western Christianity rediscovers story (HIS-story), and weaves it back into its teaching methods, people will begin to realize how little they really know, and seek the experience of truth, Truth Himself.
When pre-Christians look at us and say, "You don't know what you're talking about", they actually may be right! Without realizing it, they are really saying, "You don't KNOW who you're talking about!"
Until we know Him of whom we're talking, 'what' we're talking about is of little value.

We are having so much fun rediscovering these realities, realizing that we are as much (if not more) learners as teachers over here. We thought we were missionaries to Africa, but if Jenkins is right, we may well end up missionaries to the West, mentored in turn by our African brothers and sisters.
And we thought WE had it all... well, at least that's the way we understood it!!!

Oops - it's 4:30am ... time to go back to bed!

Swahili words you already know....

Pancha..... something that happens to a tyre when you ride over a nail

benki..... a place you go to deposit your money for safe keeping or to withdraw money

teksi..... a car that gives you a ride which you pay for.

fourlani...... peak hour traffic

keeplefti..... a round-a-bout

offisini.....where you go to work everyday when you work in the business community

sirakasi..... under the big top...

Did you guess any of these?

Everyone can play.....

Old Testament Priestly Garments...


Last Sunday, I preached on Everyone Can Play.....aka The priesthood of all believers.

I talked about the great divide that we have all experienced in church at some point where there is a definite clergy/ laity divide or professionals/ spectators divide. Another way of looking at it would be performers/ consumers. There are messages we receive about our inadequacy to contribute or just that there is a hierarchy that we need to respect.

This along with the western trend toward science and reason is yet another reason for non- involvement.

The biblical view of church is however, one of family, living stones, a holy nation, a royal priesthood. (1 Peter 2:9) This gives us a sense of organic flow, of living and moving and breathing together. A living thing. Church is about thinking, understanding AND DOING.

The reason for this divide?
Some thoughts...with the emphasis more and more on preaching the church has become more cerebral... less involved.
The increased value of science and reason has seen less and less emphasis on learning by doing. The praxis model Jesus used to teach is not as prevalent. Remember his show and tell model of walking on water... he showed them, he encouraged them and then he used the situation to teach the disciples.

Another reason could be low self esteem....

Still another relates to Old Testament theology left over in our thinking that we are unaware of.

I then looked at a comparison table of Old Testament Priests and todays' New testament priests. OT fields are in bold. NT in italics.

What a new testament priest might look like:

or this....


Clothing: Special clothing, which set them apart. Linen, head dress, sash, ephod etc. Bell around the leg of the High Priest.

New Testament:None except consideration of others. Modesty and consideration of cultural norms would come into this.

Duties: His office was responsible for the annual Day of Atonement rituals (Lev. 16) On the day of Atonement the priest would go into the altar and splash the blood of the unblemished lamb which would be an offering for our sins. We see some religious traditions today where communion is a ritual that should only be performed by the priest. He was also responsible for all the tithes and offerings of the Israelites .The priests supervised the system of worship and sacrifices at the holy sanctuary and helped regulate the religious affairs and holy days of Israel.
High Priest and priests – The priests aided the High Priest in all practical aspects. Priests inspected leprosy to declare it unclean or clean – healing;
Took your family sacrifice into the temple for you;

Praying for the sick, encouraging one another, confessing and forgiving one another. The sense of belonging as insiders and outsiders is now related to us the community of the church being those on the inside and those that don’t know Christ are on the outside and our hope and passion is that they would be drawn in. Christ has made us `priests to serve His God and Father' (Revelation 1:6; 5:10). As believer priests, all God's people have the privilege of ministering to each other by praying for one another (Ephesians 6:18f; Colossians 4:3; James 5:16) and encouraging one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18; Hebrews 10:25).


Rules and Regulations: Leviticus is a record of all of the rules that the priests needed to enforce. There were rules about the priests themselves being clean and then also declaring clean or unclean many different things that related to disease, diet and bodily functions. There were also many rules about the Sabbath that were interpreted by the Pharisees of Jesus day. Legalism was evident –you couldn’t carry your bedroll on the Sabbath and you couldn’t eat of the ceremonial bread. You didn’t work on the Sabbath – light a fire,

There is a big discussion about which of the rules should be followed now that Gentiles are included in the family – As for the Gentile believers, we have written to them our decision that they should abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality."
Acts 21:24-26.
This is a picture of contextualization of the gospel into other cultures.

Family Line: Levites – from the tribe of Levi. Priests were worthy male descendants of Aaron. The high priest was designated from among the first-born descendants of Aaron.

Christ is our brother – our co-heir. We are in the family of God. Eph 1: 2-4
[The God of Glory] How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

Gender: Males only

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Gal 3:28

Race/ Ethnic Restrictions: Jews only

12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him,
13 for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."Rom 10:12

Received or passed on? Priesthood rights given to the oldest son. Hereditary.

Adoption into the family makes us priests. 1 Peter 2:9 says
9-10But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. (The Message)

Buildings: Buildings were intricately designed and instructions were detailed and significant. Each person with special skills was to participate and offer their gifts. Tabernacle and Temple both structured and designed for the sense of Holiness and awe.

All of the activities of the priests were around the Temple. In fact in 70AD when the temple was destroyed the Priesthood system (priests and Levites) ceased and developed more into the rulership by the Sanhedrin and governed by one priest and a small group of chief priests. Their principal reason for existence had been the religion of the temple. Without the temple their purpose was gone and their role as religious leaders within the Jewish community passed into the hands of the rabbis, just as the temple was replaced by the centrality of the synagogue.

None. We are the temples of the Holy Spirit. We are the living stones of the Church.
1 Peter 2: 4,5 says: 4As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— 5you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Food restrictions No cloven hooved animals, no crusteans, nothing boiled in its mothers milk. Leviticus has the full list.

None except consideration of others.

Festivals and Special Days Sabbath, Festival of booths etc. etc.

Col 2:16, 17: Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. 17These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.

So what is the point of all this?? We are the priests of today. We are the ones to bring God's kingdom to the world around us. We don't need a mediator or a priest.

What about leaders though?
The bible is very clear that there are leaders and fathers in the faith (and mothers).
Apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists, pastors are all called to raise up more of themselves in the church. They are to give away all they have and empower and equip the church. This is the opposite of using our leadership or position for status. No special clothing and no special seats....

So what are we called to do as these New Testament priests?
To bring the kingdom by:
being Jesus to this world - ie preaching the kingdom and then demonstrating by caring for the poor and oppressed, healing the sick, driving out demons, seeking the lost, and integrating, teaching and training new disciples to do the same.

Why do we do it?
Not for ourselves but because we are loved and we love...

Look at the following checklist and tick off in your mind the things you still want to do as a minister and a priest of this kingdom:

Strengthen feeble hands, steady weak knees, open the eyes of the blind, unstop the ears of the deaf, cause the lame to walk, cause the mute tongue to shout for joy, Preach good news to the poor, bind up the broken hearted, bring freedom to the captives, release the prisoners from darkness, proclaim this time as God’s mercy and favour, proclaim God’s vengeance, comfort all who mourn. Care for the sheep, feed the hungry, chlothe the naked, strengthen the weak, heal the sick, bind up the injured, bring back the strays, search for the lost, raise the dead, feed the hungry, give the thirsty something to drink, invite the strangers in, visit the prisoners, Go, preach the gospel to all nations, make disciples, teach/train, drive out demons, speak in new tongues, pick up snakes and not be hurt. Lay hands on the sick and they will recover….

Swahili words you already know....

Take a guess at the following swahili words:

pancha

benki

teksi

fourlani

keeplefti

offisini

sirakasi

stay tuned for our next blog with some hints and the answers..........

Post office boxes in Arusha......means waiting... waiting

So many of you have responded to our plea for help with Pre-school materials for the Loiborsoit preschool.
Thank you for your generosity...

Unfortunately, to date, we have not received one parcel..

We keep checking with the post office and checking our box but to no avail.

Please pray for those important gifts to arrive at there correct destination to bless those children.

We will update you when we have arrivals!!!